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Posted on July 15, 2015

The Gallows (2015) Film Review

Gwen

R | 81min | 2015 | (USA) | Travis Cluff , Chris Lofing

Synopsis: Twenty years after a tragic accident during a high school play the students try to pay respects by resurrecting the play. This time Charlie returns to finish business and steal the show.

Review: This one leaves audiences swinging limp in the wind.

The pros: Although the film is written by two men, it comes across quite female centered.

I find the weapon of choice to be quite interesting. I am not typically a subscriber to psychoanalytic theory when it comes to horror films. However, it is quite rare for the killer to use a weapon that is not categorically phallic. In fact the noose is everything opposite of phallic. It is a receptacle that encompasses and takes control over that which enters it. This brings me to my next point.

Posted on July 11, 2015

Jersey Shore Shark Attack (2012) Review

Gwen

Jersey Shore Shark Attack is full of surprises!

As Horror Homeroom’s first edition of shark week comes to an end we wanted to leave you with a good taste in your mouth. That’s why I want to complete this week with a film that is pure, gluttonous fun. I wish I could convey in words the sheer bliss that I felt after watching this film, but it is something that needs experiencing. It is exactly what it sounds like: a cross between MTV’s “Jersey Shore” and Jaws (1975) and it is nothing short of AMAZING. It is a perfect crescendo for our shark week because it reminds us that sharks can be anxiety inducing but more importantly, thrill inducing. What Jersey Shore Shark Attack boils down to is simple amusement. There is no significant social commentary or any smart themes about nature but there are gun toting, fist pumping Guidos who rid Seaside Heights, NJ of its killer albino sharks. There are minor underlying comments about class and gentrification but if you watch this film you watch it for the fun, the cast, and the death scenes.

Posted on July 8, 2015

Horror Rewatch: Deep Blue Sea (1999)

Gwen

Deep Blue Sea appreciates nature’s preeminent design-the shark.

R | 105min | 1999 | (USA) | Renny Harlin

Let’s get the meat and potatos out of the way: Imdb aptly describes the film as: “Searching for a cure to Alzheimer’s disease a group of scientists on an isolated research facility become the bait as a trio of intelligent sharks fight back.” Deep Blue Sea certainly packs a punch with its special effects, animatronics, and plot twists. Without giving away spoilers, I have to concede that this film certainly has my personal favorite death scene of all time to date. Similar to so many of the pets on my top ten horrific pets list these sharks only become killers once man meddles in matters of nature, or more specifically with God’s perfect design.

Deep Blue Sea suggests that sharks are quite infallible by design. During a discussion between scientists they mention that sharks are the oldest and most efficient creatures on the planet they never get cancer, go blind, or show loss of brain functioning. In the mind of lead scientist Dr. McCallister (Saffron Burrows) this is what makes them the perfect candidate for her intrusive and unethical scientific practices. Read more

Posted on July 5, 2015

Top Ten Reasons Why Sharks Make the Perfect Movie Monster

Gwen

Since this week marks Discovery Channel’s 27^th annual celebration of Shark Week, I thought it was a great time to discuss why sharks probably make some of the best movie monsters.

10. Sharks barely need sleep. Even Freddy Krueger needs more rest than these guys. It was once thought that sharks had to constantly move in order to keep the water flowing over their gills. In fact, they tend to have active and restful periods and some species such as the nurse shark have spiracles which help move the water over the gills during restful periods.

Posted on July 5, 2015

Why Jaws Remains at the Top of the Horror Game

Gwen

Today is a symbiotic day for me to write this piece. I spent the day traveling to Virginia and, as I drove further and further south, I had flashbacks to scenes from Wrong Turn (2003) and Jeepers Creepers (2001). At one point I was certain that I drove past the exact point where Darry (Justin Long) climbed down that creepy pipe in the monster’s yard and I was momentarily convinced there were bodies down there. Unlike those in every horror film made, I was smart enough not to go back and investigate. That being said, I pondered something that I heard in a the documentary Why Horror (2014) where someone makes this beautifully obvious yet understated point that horror is really the only genre that leaves a lasting emotional imprint on a person. It becomes a reference point for so many things in our lives. Its images are the darkness beyond the trees, the monster beneath the bed, and the reason we know to never say “I’ll be right back.” Every time I drive south, I immediately picture these scenes from wrong turns down dusty roads. And every time anyone, I mean anyone, goes in the water they certainly conjure up images of…Jaws (1975).